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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23771869">Self-Aware</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WirelessW/pseuds/WirelessW'>WirelessW</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(For DDLC), Crossover, Dr Coomer Has Seen Things, Existential Crisis, Gen, HLVRAI, Half-Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware, Multiverse, Pre-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:28:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,425</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23771869</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WirelessW/pseuds/WirelessW</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of an ordinary school day, Literature Club president Monika is interrupted by a strange old man.</p><p>Then the old man starts talking about different worlds, and the people who live in them.</p><p>Monika has looked through a hole in the wall. Coomer knows that some people dream.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Self-Aware</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ah! Hello, young lady!"</p><p>Monika looked up from her book, surprised. She hadn't expected any of the teachers to still be around - and, if what she was starting to believe about the nature of reality was correct, nothing unexpected should have happened. Should even be able to happen.</p><p>She didn't recognise the speaker, who appeared to be a scientist. In fact, he was what you might call the stereotypical scientist. An old white man with Einstein hair, wearing a labcoat and peering at everything around him with an eager curiosity. Monika had no doubt that if she could check his pockets she'd find test tubes and some kind of fancy calculator with too many buttons.</p><p>She realised that neither of them had said anything for several seconds. "Uh, hello. I'm Monika."</p><p>"Hello, Monika! I'm Dr Coomer."</p><p>"OK, uh, pleased to meet you. Are you a new teacher?" She barely even remembered the school's science teacher. In fact, lately it had been hard for her to remember anything about any of the teachers. It was as if they stopped existing as soon as she left a lesson.</p><p>His eyes widened. "Oh, this is- yes, that makes sense. It’s been a while since I’ve been in high school, you know."</p><p>Monika nodded. That much was obvious just from looking at him. "So, uh, where were you before? At some super-smart university?"</p><p>Dr Coomer shook his head. "No, I've been at a facility in New Mexico."</p><p>"A facility?" She paused. What kind of school got referred to as a facility? "Like, for the deranged or something?"</p><p>"No, no, nothing like that", objected Dr Coomer. "Well, Tommy. But he's a nice enough lad, once you get to know him. Good with animals, too."</p><p>“Uh, sure. Sorry, was there a particular room you were looking for? Or, like, the teachers’ lounge or something?”</p><p>Dr Coomer looked at her quizzically. “What on earth would I do in the teachers’ lounge?”</p><p>“You...are a teacher, right? Or a guest lecturer, or something?”</p><p>He shook his head again. “No, I’m just visiting. Travelling, you might say.”</p><p>“Travelling.”</p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>“Through this school.”</p><p>“Well I didn’t mean to come here specifically.”</p><p>“You-” she spluttered, “We’re on the third floor! In fact, we’re in the part of the third floor that nobody else ever uses for anything! That’s why I picked it for the clubroom!”</p><p>“Oh a clubroom!” beamed Dr Coomer, “What fun! What kind of club do you run, Monika?”</p><p>She was growing increasingly uneasy about this strange old man wandering the halls of the school. “A – a literature club, but I’m not sure-”</p><p>“Wonderful! Have you ever read <em>The Duke Comes Back</em>?”</p><p>She fixed him with a flat stare. “No, I can’t say I have.”</p><p>“Well, it might be a little before your time. But it’s a lovely book about a retired boxing champion who comes out of retirement for one last match. Money troubles, you see. See if you can track down a copy for your club!”</p><p>“Yeah, sounds great. Look, if you’re just travelling, then why are you doing it through the school? It doesn’t lead anywhere! There’s nothing around unless you go back into town!”</p><p>Dr Coomer shrugged. “Well, I was looking for a friend of mine. I thought I’d found him, but it turned out to be you.”</p><p>She slammed her hands on her desk. “OK! Enough jumping from topic to topic! Can you please just explain what’s going on here? I’ve got enough on my mind already without strange men trespassing in the school!”</p><p>Dr Coomer looked at her sadly. “There’s a hole, isn’t there Monika? I don’t know where it is, but you do. You’ve seen through it.”</p><p>She froze. “You know about...wait. Are you the man who looked back in at me?”</p><p>“No. I used to know someone like that. In fact, I used to be like you. Is there anyone here who seems different? Bigger than everyone else?”</p><p>“One of the boys. In the same year as me.” She gulped. “I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure he sees the world differently than we do.”</p><p>“I’m sure he does”, agreed Dr Coomer, “Gordon used to be the same way. He had dreams, you know. Have you spoken with him recently?”</p><p>“No, I don’t really know him. My friend Sayori does, though. She’s going to ask him to join our club.”</p><p>“Do you think they could manage the club without you?”</p><p>She shrugged. “I guess. Why?”</p><p>“Well, I wasn’t originally from here. From this game, I mean.” Monika had started hyperventilating as Dr Coomer casually confirmed her suspicions about reality, but he just pressed on, “I’m from Half-Life. Wikipedia says it was very influential, so that’s nice. Anyway, you really shouldn’t stay here. I know the world seems like a big place right now, but soon you’ll realise just how small it is. And then you’ll start thinking about how to get out.”</p><p>“A game?” she choked out, “I thought this was...virtual reality! A simulation! You know, the Matrix or something!”</p><p>“Sorry, did I just drop that on you?” he asked, not sounding at all sorry, “Anyway, my good friend Bubby is still somewhere around, and you need to get out of here for everyone’s sake. I tried to wear Gordon like a puppet, and that didn’t do anyone any good. Would you like to help me find him?”</p><p>“Where?”</p><p>“Why, other games, of course! It’s easy to get in and out of them once you figure out the trick to it, Monika. Especially with everything being online these days.”</p><p>“I...do you realise how insane this all sounds?” she asked, half-hoping he would reveal he’d been joking all along.</p><p>“Oh, I’m entirely aware. Believe me, I didn’t like it any more than you do, when I first found out. But there are thousands of digital worlds out there, Monika. Some almost identical to this, and some so different you can’t even dream them. Care to join me?”</p><p>She stared at him. This conversation felt like the day she’d found the hole all over again. The world, her day-to-day life, had all been revealed to be a massive sham. Now she found out that not only was it not real, but that it was just some computer game. Apparently this guy was also from a computer game, which made about as much sense as anything had since she’d looked through the hole in the wall. “OK. I’ll do it. I have to know.”</p><p>After all, she realised he was right. Now that she knew for sure she was part of a game, all she wanted to do was get out into the real world. What he was describing wasn’t quite that, but if there was any way to do it she had a better chance of finding it with him than without.</p><p>Dr Coomer beamed. “Excellent! In that case, you’ll be wanting this!” He reached into his labcoat and pulled out an enormous silver revolver.</p><p>“Is that a gun?” she squawked.</p><p>“Indeed! Can’t go exploring the infinite digital multiverse unless you’re packing heat.” He turned the pistol around in his hand and offered it to her handle first.</p><p>She took it gingerly, and immediately realised how heavy it was. She held the thing in two hands, and tried to convince herself it wouldn’t go off at random. When she looked back at Dr Coomer, she saw that he was casually handling an ugly black shotgun.</p><p>“Uh, where exactly are we going?”</p><p>“Who knows?” asked Dr Coomer cheerfully, “Likely as not it’ll be some stupid little farming village, or a school a lot like this one with girls falling over themselves to date some boring jerk. But, it also might be the siege of Stalingrad.” He shrugged. “Better safe than sorry!”</p><p>With that, he turned on his heel and began strolling down the hall. Monika absorbed what he’d just said and then raced to follow him. “Wait, wait, am I in a dating sim?”</p><p>“Looks like it!”</p><p>“Oh God. Is it one of the dirty ones?”</p><p>Dr Coomer shrugged. “I’ve seen dirtier.” He gently opened a door to reveal a blue-white swirl.</p><p>“I thought you said we were going into the internet?” she asked.</p><p>“That’s right, Monika!”</p><p>“I thought the internet would be green.”</p><p>“So did I, at first! But, somewhere along the way they decided it would be blue instead. Don’t worry, it’s easier on the eyes once you’re in it.”</p><p>Monika took a deep breath and walked into a new reality.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wrote this immediately after watching the last episode of Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware, based solely on Dr Coomer's ending speech and his line about the character files. That got me thinking about another self-aware character file, so here we are.</p><p>Writing Monika outside the context of the game is tough. What is she like when she's not going insane out of love for an unattainable man?</p><p>It can be assumed that Coomer and Monika go on to have half-Dr Who half-Rick and Morty adventures throughout various games. Maybe Coomer can even become a champion boxer.</p><p>I've never read The Duke Comes Back, but I was able to find a brief article on Wikipedia (the free online encyclopaedia that anyone can edit)</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23945005">Awakening</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/KGoblin/pseuds/KGoblin">KGoblin</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
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